Final Fantasy XIII Impressions – 6 hours of boredom
Do final Fantasy X-2 and Final Fantasy (FF) 11 actually count as FF games? I personally would say they don’t. FF x-2 was more of a spin-off following on from the end of X, employing rather odd and lame gameplay efforts in an attempt to make some money off of fanboys who; A) Wanting to see the three girl cast in skimpy outfits some more and B) fanboys that refused to believe that all of FF X was a prolonged dream sequence… And what about FF 11? Well it was a big MMO that was bloody hard and on top of that very expensive to play every month, so again no I would say they don’t count.
If you are agree with me, that they do not count as real Final Fantasy games – just as Final Fantasy Tactics doesn’t count, regardless of how amazing those games are – then I think I can quite easily (and unhappily) say that Final Fantasy 13 (FF III) is the worst Final Fantasy game I have ever played.
Read on for my impressions of the game after 6 hours of in-game time have been logged by the clock. No spoilers, not that there are any, and this is mostly an attempt by me to convey the game and it’s worth to those who are maybe trying to watch the pennies after an expensive video game start to the year.
Ok – So first of all – I KNOW that there is only so much that a game like this can do in 6 hours but I expect certain things when playing a game, not just FF games – but all games, to do within the first introduction of gameplay and this fails on all accounts.
Final Fantasy games have always had epic introductions – by this time in FF 6 I had battled in a giant overpowering mech suit and lost it, now struggling to learn how to fight with all your powers stripped away. FF 7 by now i had assaulted the facility, blow it up and had been introduced to a varied cast of interesting and awesome characters. FF8 I would have taken my SEED test, gained Ifrit, explored the massive school and met Seifer and battled him in the cool indoor garden simulator thing. FF9 I would have been introduced to the wicked cast ( ViVI 😀 yes!) and played that really cool carnival/theater show. FF10 the amazing blitz-ball intro and intro to Jecht (remember when you see him on-top of the building, coat flapping the wind – amazing) and even EVEN FF12 had the awesome assault on the palace and wonderful intro to some really cool and unique characters….how about this?
One word- BORING.
Boring would sum this up. Boring would sum up the last 6 hours of my life. The introduction to this game – Lame. Boring. Shit. Any of those will do. The game doesn’t play to any kind of scale. The intro consisted of aimlessly switching between characters we know nothing about, referencing a story that is confusing and bloated.
So many things I want to say about this game, but I don’t know how to fit it all in. Before it even came out, this was the FF game that had given me the lowest expectations when walking in – even with these low expectations is still manages to bore the shit out of me. Is it the characters? yes. They all suck. One of them seemed ok, but he constantly referances how old he is every 30 seconds, which is fucking annoying. The rest of them are lifeless shells – the worst characters a FF game has ever had by far. None have any personality and 2 of them are so annoying, both in their actions and voice acting that I have been tempted to many a time just turn it off. Red Headed girl – are you supposed to be American or Australian? Make your mind up, because switching between voices is fucking ludicrous.
So chracters are so awful that I quite honestly can’t think of anything worse then them accompnying me on my 60 hour journey. How about this new battle system?
LAME – is the word. You only control one character. Why? This takes all – Skill/fun/involvement out of the game. As there is no exploring by the looks of it, for the last 6 hours I have just held the “up” button and progressed without missing anything, the battle system needed to be engaging at it just isn’t. The game plays itself. Go into a battle, click “auto-battle” and it queue’s up your next 2 most effective attacks. Your party then attacks for itself meaning you have to keep tabs on healing or switching character classes etc, but essentially – making it so only you making one character do things, they may as well as made this a 3rd person action adventure game. Its boring. No involvement. I am laying back in my chair, hammering away at the attack button – it is essentially a hack and slash – there is no tactics. You can’t make your character block incoming attacks, you have to switch to classes where someone has that ability- and hope they either A) use the block ability seeing as you cant ask them to use it and/or B) if none of your party have any options like that (which is oft the case) just get ready to take the attack and then have to switch everyones job roles until you make someone a medic – it is fucking shit. It is boring. This is the worst battle system out of any final fantasy game.
What about the story then. If the characters and battle system and linearity is shit the story must be good…right? nope. Story makes no sense, even less then usual. I quite honestly have no idea what is going on, all I do know is that it isn’t very interesting. Things arent helped by the characters just playing to crap stereotypes but overall the story makes no sense what so ever at this stage, not even a little. They havn’t made any attempt to install wonder or fear into the world. They have just gone : “HEY! Hey you! Yea well this, this and this is happening and now this – enjoy” and that is that. – I quite honestly dont know how much longer I can withstand this.
The fact that there are no towns means there is no sense of progression. I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going because the game has made no attempt to tell me. Without towns, or inns or anything like that- the game world feels flat and empty. Your character doesn’t level up, which again makes me feel like I am not progressing. There is a very limited and stripped back version of the Sphere grid in place, except you can’t see whats ahead of you and it doesnt tell you what is next- so it is so stripped back you dont get a choice of what you get, it just…happens. This is Final Fantasy for fucking idiots. Final Fantasy for the 3rd person action adventure fans. This is so far the worst final fantasy game I have ever played.
I have never been so bored in my entire life. The battle system is god awful. Turning summons into vehicles is just as bad. The characters are as flat as the game world and sheer fact that I have been playing for 6 hours of the game, and the best it can come up with for story telling is flashbacks to “day 11” well that is all well and good…BUT WHAT FUCKING DAY AM I ON RIGHT NOW? If you don’t tell me where I am then referencing other days is pointless, in fact you keep talking about places… but I don’t even know what the place we started in is- is it a city? Is the entire population housed there…what is going on? Make an attempt to install the world.
The game is linear and so is my patience – hopefully it will pick up soon, because I am getting very tempted to stop all together. It feels like I am wasting my life.
-Josh West/Origami Kid
Thanks for reading – look for the 12 hour update….hopefully it will be much better by then!